The War Prayer

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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"O Lord our Father,
our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle –
be Thou near them! With them – in spirit – we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with hurricanes of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it – for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts.
Amen."

Mark Twain 1905

Dedicated to the victims of the Fort Hood massacre.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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The War Prayer

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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"O Lord our Father,
our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle –
be Thou near them! With them – in spirit – we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with hurricanes of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it – for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."

Mark Twain 1905

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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Happy Thanksgiving

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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With Thanksgiving upon us, America is facing crisis on a number of fronts. The troubled economy is first and foremost in the minds of most, but our problems go well beyond our current economic woes. Much like the children’s story about a certain Mr. Dumpty, our nation is experiencing fractures from the impact of a great fall, and we’ll need more than a new king and his henchmen to piece this thing back together.

Of course, I mean no slight to the president elect. Obama has assembled an impressive team of respected minds to lead us out of this mire. Still, they will have many obstacles set before them in coming months. The situation is both dire, and ugly.


Talking Turkey

On a lighter note…
Here along the home front, the turkey is in the oven, and a fresh pot of coffee is on the way. Earlier this morning, the power was off for an hour or so, which wasn’t so bad, really. We all climbed out of bed, placed lit candles in strategic locations, and proceeded to heat water on our gas stove for the purpose of hot coco. As it turns out, hot coco by candlelight at six in the morning is a wonderful way to start thanksgiving day.

It has been raining for hours, but the sun is beginning to poke through the clouds from time to time. At sixty-eight degrees, we are not discussing global warming today. It’s just too nice out… it wouldn’t seem prudent. It’s for weather like this, after all, that people move to the valley in the first place.

You may have noticed I haven’t been posting as often as I would like, but hopefully I’ll get a few more posts up in the coming days. There has been much to write about, but my attention has been elsewhere. I just wanted to take a few moments of my time, (and perhaps a few minutes of yours) to count my blessing contemplate the future. Hopefully, I’ll see you there.

Until next time, happy Thanksgiving, and may your turkey (and your thoughts) be both tasteful and tender.

Brad

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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Book Review: The Garden of Eden - Ernest Hemingway

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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The Garden of Eden, though incomplete at the time of Ernest Hemingway’s death, contains some of the author’s most brilliant writing. Unfortunately, the brilliance is pinned beneath a steady current of mundane, meaningless pretense. This could have been a classic example of the ‘Lost Generation’s' literary contributions. Unfortunately, it is not.



It is the story of American novelist David Bourne and his intellectually inclined, but emotionally challenged bride, Catherine. Together, they spend an endless summer in the Mediterranean swimming, and dining, and drinking, and sleeping it off. And waking and showering, and oh yeah, they spend an unusual amount of time kissing and frolicking naked, even for hormonally motivated newlyweds.

Catherine quickly bores with their new routine, and decides she can spice up the relationship with a deeper tan and matching haircuts. More drinking ensues, as does more sex and more sleeping it off. Not enough, you ask?

Enter Marita. Well, needless to say, this new girl complicates matters in untold ways.(told, actually). What transpires is as sordid and predictable as only any average reader can imagine. (I’ll kindly leave the details of the affair unresolved). In fact, a reader could probably skip chapters two through fifteen and never miss a step.

The meat and potatoes of the story comes during chapter sixteen, disguised as a side dish. It’s a story within a story, about a boy and his father on safari in Africa. Here, Hemingway shines as only Hemingway can. His words flow from the proverbial pen with grace and passion, with intense focus and purpose. From these innermost (and far less trivial) thoughts, we are finally witness to the genius that was Ernest Hemingway.

David Bourne and his new wife are seriously flawed figures. There is little to like about either of them. Still, I can’t help but sense this story might have been somewhat auto-biographical. Bourne and Hemingway have much in common, including an insatiable appetite for absinth and alcohol. Africa seems almost incidental in comparison.

I can’t say I recommend The Garden of Eden, unless swimming and dining and drinking, and then even more drinking, tends to be your thing. All others might want to steer clear.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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Harry and the Monologue

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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It’s only Tuesday, and already, it’s been quite a week. I have been working away on a monologue I am set to deliver this Saturday at Flower Street Station in Phoenix.

As you might guess, listening to a monologue and delivering a monologue are quite different, and composing this first monologue has not proven a simple task. For several days now, I have shouldered the burden of great anxiety over the content, you know, just trying to find the right words to share on such a momentous occasion.

In fact, it has begun to adversely effect my sleep to the point where I am experiencing nightmares. Usually I don’t recall my dreams, but one in particular continues to haunt me.

In this dream, I’m sitting in the front row of what begins as a typical show here at Flower Street station, but then suddenly morphs into a large, exquisite auditorium, complete with orchestra pit, and an entire orchestra, with a pair of cellists sitting just below me, perhaps no further than three or four feet away. In this dream, I am so close to the musicians, I can see the eyes as they follow along with the dots on the sheets of music before them, strange, as I should have been staring at the backs of their heads. May I remind you, it was, of course, only a dream.

On stage is a large, pearl white grand piano. Playing that piano is none other than singer, songwriter, Marc Cohn, known primarily for his one big hit, Walking in Memphis released back in 1991. In fact, Mr. Cohn is performing a rather moving rendition of Walking in Memphis, and is just about to admit to being a Christian of convenience, when out of the blue, in swings Terrible Ted Nugent, high above the crowd, one hand grasping a rope, the other a cross-bow. Terrible Ted is quite old in my dream. He appears to be in his late seventies, perhaps older. Like many his age he has little body fat… he is all skin and muscle, and he is wearing nothing more than a deer skin G-string and a camouflage-colored military style beret that makes him appear as though he is wearing camel genitalia on his forehead. It is not a pretty sight, mind you, and it’s about to get downright ugly.

Just as the song is reaching it’s dramatic crescendo, Ted aims with precision, discharging his trusty cross-bow. Ted, as you know, is a master marksman and bow hunter. He scores a direct hit, striking Mr. Cohn in the center of his heart, which explodes on impact, sending a stream of blood gushing onto the pearl white grand piano, and covering the nearly naked Nugent. As Ted reaches up to wipe the blood from his eyes, he looses grip of the rope and falls into the orchestra pit below, impaled on a cello. There he lies, obviously mortally wounded, poked through the middle like a shish kabob.

I react as any man would. I lean over the orchestral pit, and I ask the mortally impaled Ted if he is alright. Of course, he isn’t alright, and I believe he would have said as much if he hadn’t been so delirious. Ted is in shock now, and his time on this Earth slipping away. Again, I speak to the dying man, asking if he has any last words before moving on to that great used car lot in the sky. He looks at me with a kind of a look only a nearly dead Ted Nugent can conjure up, and with his final breath, mutters the words,,, Harry Bedurchy.

Harry Bedurchy, and then he just slumps back on the cello and dies. Harry Bedurchy, I repeat, as the house lights come on and the crowd begins to shuffle out. Harry Bedurchy, indeed, and with that I awakened from my dream. Even now, I have no idea what may have prompted this nightmarish scenario. I can only wonder.

Well, I suppose it’s time to wrap up this, my first of monologues. I hope you’ve enjoyed it, and I hope the next time you hear the song Walking in Memphis, you think of an aged Ted Nugent sporting camel genitalia. I know I will. Good night everyone. Oh and by all means, Harry Bedurchy.

Brad

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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John McCain, Ronald Reagan and Other Disturbing Thoughts

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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This shouldn’t surprise any of you, but I grew up in Arizona. As such, I know crashing your fighter jet onto the deck of an aircraft carrier does not make you a hero. That’s just what John McCain did. I can still recall the images of the carnage there on the deck of the Intrepid. McCain was unable to match the damage done previously by Japanese Kamikaze pilots, but he certainly gave it the ol’ college try. Just a little straight talk.

If that wasn’t disturbing enough, he then managed to get “shot down”. I wasn’t there when it happened, so I won’t dispute the details, but if I were looking for someone to pilot something as important as our country, I certainly wouldn’t turn to John McCain based on his flight record. The man was an iffy pilot. Oh, and by the way… he hasn’t been much of a senator either.



However, in defense of McCain, I understand why he is on the outs with the neo- conservatives. You see, John McCain sometimes lives in Arizona. Not nearly as much as most residents, but he has spent some time in the valley. In fact, his office is just up the street from mine.

That’s 16th Street, a major artery running through downtown Phoenix. It is one of the oldest roads in the valley. When I was a kid, 16th was lined with large ditches, dug by Mexican laborers over a century ago. The ditches are gone now. The Mexicans are not. Oh, this may be a big deal to some idiot jackass racist Republican, but to me, they are my neighbors.

As you may know, I attended an appearance by Bill Clinton at Grady Gammage Auditorium on the ASU campus in downtown Tempe last week. What you probably don’t know is that the auditorium was built above the ruins of an old Mexican village called San Pablo.

In simple words, this was all part of Mexico not too many years ago. When some fool pops off about “sending them home” I can’t stop laughing. I ‘d be willing to bet any of you idiots my neighbors bloodline goes back further than yours does. This is home for these people, and has been for centuries. Your relatives picked up and left home. They’re relatives did not. Now you want them to leave? Kiss my ass!

And such is the rub for John McCain. He has lived in Arizona long enough, and represented these people long enough to know that every word I’ve written is true.

The problem is further compounded when Ronald Reagan is brought into the picture. You see, the neo- cons love the ‘Gipper, but isn’t he most heralded for urging the so called ‘bad guys to “tear down that wall”? How can a good ‘Reagan republican’ support the building of another Iron Curtain, this one in our own back yard? No really, I kid you not… right through back yards. Right through gardens and neighborhoods. Right through towns. Just like the Iron Curtain in Russia, with one distinct difference. Like the dicks we are, ours will be bigger.

As predicted, the Mexicans are beginning to pack up and "go home". The apartments, once full of Mexicans, lay vacant. No more tenants, no more tamale lady, no more customers buying cerveza and lottery tickets from the bodega on the corner. The local economy has bellied up, thank you very much! And this is just the beginning, mi amigos. If the Republicans have it their way, it won’t be long until Phoenix can’t afford a bano to piss in.

But what does some dork who flunked geography care? He thinks the Mexicans are taking away jobs. He thinks he should have the option to pick onions for a living. Now he does. Flunky has no concept. Flunky has never even been to a border town. He just hates Mexicans. In fact, I’ve met plenty of people like Flunky. Most have little if any understanding. They are ignorant trash.

So what is John McCain to do? Supplicate the neo- cons who already despise him? A real war hero would stick to his guns, and McCain may have the ammo to take on his detractors. Still, it’s apt to get downright nasty, if it hasn’t already. John McCain is in the fight of his life… against his fellow republicans.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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Book Review: John Irving - The World According to Garp

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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John Irving, iconic American novelist, born March 2, 1942, garnered critical acclaim in 1978 with the release of his fourth tomb, The World According to Garp, a dark, but gripping tale of love and loss, of friendship and of loneliness.

Sex and promiscuity return as the central theme in this modern tale of dysfunction, as Irving presents the reader with an array of colorful but sensitive characters. The central protagonist, Garp, as he is referred to,
grows up in a world compromised by lust and betrayal. As an adult, little changes in his disturbing world but the names, as Garp confronts good intentions with disastrous results.

As is nearly always the case with an Irving novel, we learn to love his most dysfunctional characters the most. We grow as they grow, we suffer as they suffer, and ultimately, we die silent deaths in the shadows of these tragic people and the events which shape their lives.

The antagonist in The World According to Garp seems to shift from one chapter to the next, but in fact remains metaphorically consistent with John’s implied intent. The real antagonist is ourselves, always and forever in contrast with our own moral and ethical self loathing. It is we, who are the enemies of our souls. “In the World According to Garp,” a young Donald Witcomb would write, “we are obliged to remember everything.”

The novel ends as tragically and as ironically it begins, leaving the reader with a real sense of loss. It is an art form Irving has mastered, and continues to share with great passion. His novels are timeless statements on humanity, and although perhaps not suitable for young readers, I strongly recommend his work to adults of all ages.

Irving, who studied under the Late Kurt Vonnegut at the University of Iowa Writers’ Workshop during the sixties, continues to live and write in his home state of New Hampshire. Other novels by John Irving include: Setting Free the Bears, The Water-Method Man, The 158-Pound Marriage, A Prayer For Owen Meany, The Hotel New Hampshire and Cider House Rules. For further information on John Irving and his novels, visit your local library or book store.

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Book Review - John Steinbeck - Tortilla Flat

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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John Steinbeck, the voice of American conscience, and a true literary genius. His work has grown increasingly important in these modern times, these devoid of his ceaseless grace and passion. His words hang like crystal chandeliers in a world inhabited by shadows. John Steinbeck is more than a novelist. He is our reflection.

Tortilla Flat represents Steinbeck’s first critical and popular success as a novelist. Comprised of seventeen ‘episodes, Tortilla Flat documents the events surrounding a group of ‘paisanos living on the fringes of society in the fishing community of Monterey, California nearly a century ago.

It is a story of Danny’s house, and Danny’s friends. It is a story of loss and redemption, and more loss. It is a tale of meaningless triumph, of alcoholism, of loneliness and of friendship. Steinbeck warns the reader of such impending peril, and delivers with great sadness. Such is the fabric of Tortilla Flat.

Ultimately, Tortilla Flat confronts the basic tenets of morality, steeped in a shadowy broth. Sometimes humorous, but always painful in it’s analysis, the story tumbles and slides down the slopes of humanity. Blood and wine are equally spilled, and the loss is communally shared.

The story ends as it begins, full circle, cryptic and proverbial. It is Danny’s house and these are Danny’s friends. Like the candle that burns in the evening, and by morning, was never there, Tortilla flat tells us of a world that existed once, but only within the bounds of it’s own jurisdiction. With Tortilla Flat, John Steinbeck does not create a world we wish to share, but instead shares a world with us created by others. A world created by Danny and his friends.

Born February 27th, 1902 John Steinbeck grew up in Salinas California, and much of his writing is centered around these peoples of the coast. Perhaps best known for his depression era masterpiece, Grapes of Wrath, Steinbeck wrote several unforgettable novels, including Cannery Row, Of Mice and Men, East of Eden and The Pearl. Steinbeck passed away on December 20th, 1968, but his writing lives on.

“Now it is over”, remarks Pilon, friend of Danny’s and fellow resident of Tortilla Flat. “Now the great times are done. Thy friends will mourn, but nothing will come of their mourning.” Perhaps Pilon was correct all along.

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Public Appearance

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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Greetings!
For those interested, I’ll be making a brief public appearance this afternoon at: Jennerisms, 810 Valley St. in Prescott between 2:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. I don’t believe there is any admission fee, so please feel welcome to drop by.


B. Thomas Cooper

I’ll be performing two brief sets on my acoustic, and I’ll make myself available afterward for questions, etc. I hope to meet some of you there!

Brad
B. Thomas Cooper

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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The Broken Promise

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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Bush has really done a number on America. In fact, his irresponsible conduct has done more damage to the United States than bin Laden and Saddam Hussein combined. So then, why shouldn’t Bush also swing from the neck? He should, of course.

There is no longer any doubt George W. Bush and his administration lied about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. The result has been devastating! There is little question the invasion of Iraq was avoidable. We shouldn’t even be there.

The consequence has been the deaths of thousands of innocent people, none which happened to be Americans, by the way. Innocent people don’t occupy foreign countries. Still, some very horrible Americans support that war. Those are some sick people, scumbags to the last man. You wanted blood, you got it!

Bush has less than a year in office, but it’s already too late. The damage is done. Americas reputation is shot. The U.S. is no longer land of the free nor home of the brave. It is however, the mother lode of self serving, shit for brains. Bush says history will judge his administration accordingly, but history is now! Let the judgment begin.

The Republicans want us to believe the soviet Union collapsed as a result of a few stupid remarks made by the Gipper. Bad science from bad people. The last thing they want to admit is that the USSR was really brought down by bin Laden, especially since he is now targeting us.

Republicans don’t like to be reminded of the thousands of innocent people whose deaths they are responsible for. They don’t like to admit this entire Iraq affair is about greed and pride. No, of course not!

I’ve seen the way Republicans act when they think no-one is looking. Out come the clown suit and the handgun, first opportunity. Out goes common sense. After all, you never know when you might have to shoot a child, so away they go, stalking anyone they can point a gun at, children included. Republicans are just that kind of stink. They wreak cowardice.

History is now, folks. We need not wait until all of us are dead before measuring the crimes of the Bush administration. It is neither noble nor patriotic to guard the door whilst the fox raids the henhouse. Blessed are the peacemakers, not the warmongers.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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The Fall of the Aztec Empire

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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The fall of Aztec civilization has long been the subject of much debate. However, this much is clear, the Aztec were an extraordinary people, steeped in myth and mayhem. Their impact is still felt throughout Mexico.

The Aztec Empire collapsed quickly, lasting no more than a century. Some have blamed the collapse on Cortes, and the invading Spaniards, but in fact, disease and regional discord also played major roles.

In the year 1427, the Aztecs, under the rule of Itzcoatl, and with the assistance of surrounding communities successfully conquered the Tepanecs, thus gaining control of the Valley of Mexico'. However, unlike other warring nations, the Aztec were primarily interested in occupation of new territory, seeking offerings, human and otherwise, for sacrifice to their unusual Gods.

Existing community temples were burned or destroyed, replaced with Aztec alters. Residents were instructed to worship their new God, Huitzilopochtli.
Aztec religion was represented through numerous deities, most which appear on the Aztec calendar. These deities were believed responsible for blessing or cursing Aztec life. Such practices were unacceptable to many regional communities, who often found themselves or their neighbors victims of Aztec atrocities.

Around 1521, the Aztec city of Tenochtitlan became infected with the small-pox virus. The subsequent epidemic wiped out nearly half the population of the city, leaving it vulnerable to attack from outside forces. Soon after, Cortes mobilized nine thousand of his own troops and nearly a hundred-fifty thousand regional troops, bringing down the Aztec Empire forever. By August of 1521, the Aztec were all but decimated, and in their wake, began the era of Spanish rule throughout Mexico.

Descendants of the Aztec continue to live throughout Mexico, and much about Aztec culture remains. Previously unknown ruins have recently been documented and excavated, leading to much new information about these amazing people. Still, like their relatives, the Mayan and the Toltec, the Aztec left behind a curious and troubling legacy, some mysteries of which we shall never fully understand.

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Seasons Greetings!

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Season's Greetings!



The holiday candles are burning, my friends. Christmas is only days away. Many presents have yet to be purchased, let alone, wrapped and distributed. Thank the good lord above (thanks be to Allah, etc.) I can always count on Santa to bear the brunt of the load.

Yes, the holiday season is again upon us. Rest assured good old Saint Nick knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, no matter what George W. Bush or Dick Cheney may say to the contrary. I recommend two lumps a piece. Of coal that is, but then I assume you knew where I was going with this.

Ah, but I digress.

We acquired our Christmas tree in the usual manner, and from the usual suspects, whom we have ascertained use the proceeds to fund a covert children’s hospital in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood. Mum is the word.

The parking lot was dimly lit. Actually, it was not lit at all. It was dark! We peered through the shadows, shaking branches curiously and horse-trading in our best broken Spanish. We settled on a fine tree. The gentle mannered attendant then secured the tree to the roof of our truck with about forty feet of heavy rope I assume was strong enough secure an angry bison to our rooftop. No extra charge.

As we pulled away from the unpaved parking area adjoining the unlit tree lot, we were greeted by the most unusual sign. 'NO REFUNDS OR RETURNS' the sign portended. They must be on to us, we mused, as we drove away, singing carols in our best broken Spanish.

More later,
Eggnog and fudge await.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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Is George Bush Losing it?

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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There has been much speculation as of late in regards to George W. Bush’s mental health. Questions began arising as far back as 2004, but in light of recent developments, it seems appropriate to address this very serious issue again. Let there be no mistake, George W. Bush has threatened to start World War III if he doesn’t get his way. Of course, he lays the blame at the feet of others, but the facts are clear. George Bush wants war.

George W. Bush has, and continues to threaten to bomb Iran for a weapons program it does not have. The bombing of course, would be done with real bombs the US does indeed have, rather than the make believe ones Iran has been accused of seeking.

We’ve been through this before, folks, and it’s nasty business. This is the exact same rhetoric Hitler used to justify the invasion of France. Then again, why should the excuses for World War III be any different than the excuses for World War II?

It is not unusual for world leaders to suffer from grandiose delusions, but this goes deep into the redline. Bush has his finger on the button, and he is just itching to push it before his term expires. If the president has mental health issues, it would be better to consider them now, rather than later. For instance:

“Aides report “In meetings with top aides and administration officials, the President goes from quoting the Bible in one breath to obscene tantrums against the media, Democrats and others that he classifies as "enemies of the state."

White House Aides paint a picture of an administration under siege, led by a man who declares his decisions to be "God's will" and then tells aides to "fuck over" anyone they consider to be an opponent of the administration."

“Senior aides describe Bush as increasingly “edgy” or “nervous” or “unfocused.” They say the President goes from apparent coherent thought one moment to aimless rambles about political enemies and those who are “out to get me.”

“It’s worse than the days when Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer’s began setting in,” one longtime GOP operative told me privately this week. “You don’t know if he’s going to be coherent from one moment to the next. What scares me is if he lapses into one of those fogs during a public appearance.”

Aides say Bush, who has always had trouble focusing during times of stress, is increasingly distant during meetings, often staring off into space during discussions on the nation’s security and other issues.”

This represents only a fraction of the information I was able to find on the subject. If you are interested in learning more, simply type the criteria into your favorite search engine. I typed in “George W. Bush mental health” In the past, I have been accused of making this stuff up, but rest assured, I am neither that good, nor that vindictive. The president's mental stability is quickly becoming a real issue, one that we would all be best served if it just went away quietly.

…to a padded cell.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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Black Friday, it’s All About the Green!

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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The holiday shopping season officially begins in earnest today, as millions of anxious shoppers spend long hours jostling for parking spaces among throngs of irritable, but willing participants in this annual ritual. Black Friday, yes, it’s tradition now. Up goes the brilliantly illuminated but obviously artificial Christmas trees, standing testament to what’s really behind this seasonal cash-letting frenzy. It’s all about the cash, my friends. Black Friday is all about the green!

Ah, tis the season. Our new plasma, wide-screen televisions are just jumping with adorable digital images of ice-skating bears, and beer bottles going for the field goal. None of it’s real of course. Not even the fat, jolly guy who get’s all the credit for what many of us will still be paying for next year at this time. The fat guy did it! I’m a victim of identity theft.

And you really feel alright about letting your three year old site on this guys lap? I’d swear, without the hat and beard, he looks like that sex offender who just moved in across the street from the comic book store. You don’t suppose?

And should Santa care who’s been naughty? Isn’t the holiday supposed to be about sharing? If we didn’t share with those who have been naughty, we would have the whole world to ourselves. Correction, you would.

List or no list, I would undoubtedly fall into the ‘naughty’ category, primarily, because I am categorically naughty. You know the bit. Sometimes, when I am angry or impatient, I speak in tongues. I go into fits, slurring and flailing about like some madman, spewing vindictive even the Bible wouldn’t repeat.

In fact I suspect a lot more people can relate than care to admit. Furthermore, I would be willing to be all the money that changes hands this holiday season, thousands, if not millions are speaking in similar tongues at this very moment, shouting, and slurring, as they drive endless circles through endless parking lots in search for a lone space, any space, in a sea of cars and humanity, all in quest of a green tinted nirvana. Black Friday, if you prefer.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

If I Were President and Other Bad Ideas

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

If I were president…
A question pondered by many, but one that can only be answered by a select few. What would I do, you ask? Well for starters…

As president of the United States, I’d probably spend much of my time in the White House rose garden, hanging with the gardener. I would undoubtedly seek his advice on a variety of subjects, starting with perennials. I might even appoint him (or her) to the Supreme Court should the opportunity arise. (After all, it almost worked with Harriet Miers).

If I were president, I would use my executive powers to insist upon the completion of the Mount Rushmore busts, which have been left unfinished for over a half a century. (Let’s see the Taliban try to destroy these busts).

I would hire an architect to install some corners in the Oval Office. I would fire Richard Cheney, and replace him with a lawn sprinkler. Actually, I don’t think it really matters what I replace Cheney with, just as long as I replace him.

I would take cooking lessons from the White House chef, and demonstrate my exquisite taste to foreign dignitaries. I would have a Taco Bell installed next to the Lincoln Bedroom. I would stay up late at night watching Conan, and fall asleep on the couch with a mouthful of pretzels.

Come to think of it, I probably wouldn’t make the best president. Then again, who would? Some of us were simply never cut out for the roll of President of the United States, and frankly, the current administration is going to be a tough act to follow.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

Online Publishing

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

Welcome to the paradigm.
Publishing, as we know it, will never be the same.

With the explosion of the internet, information of all nature has become available at the touch of a finger-tip. Conversely, newspapers, magazines, and other print medium have seen a sharp decrease in circulation, as more and more households go online. For aspiring writers and journalists anxious to break into the business, it is understandable there would be uncertainly as to which team one should hitch their wagon.

The answer of course, is quite simple. Diversify. Each project should be approached individually. Just as a painter might use multiple brushes, it is reasonable to consider the various options.

Obviously, the internet provides endless opportunity for writers of all styles, with few of the stumbling blocks normally associated with an established printing house. An author can reach a large audience immediately, and can interact with readers in a way not available to print authors. However, having your work published online should not be the end all. Publishing is still a business, and as such, your writing must retain a high level of quality if you wish to be taken seriously.

As a freelance writer, I have found the internet to be artistically satisfying, but financially less appealing. A six hundred word article written for the Daily Planet usually pays in the neighborhood of fifty cents to a buck per word. Online publishers, however, often pay little if anything.

As with any endeavor, success is determined by work ethic. There is no free lunch. As such, one can only expect to receive as much as one is willing to give. Creative writing is indeed, a gift to be shared, but as with any craft, one must constantly be learning and practicing, or risk atrophy.

Enter online publishing. Think of the internet as the shallow end of the publishing pool. Jump in, get your feet wet. It’s really not so bad, once you get a feel for it. You’ll know when your ready for deeper waters.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

Bonfire of the Bushisms

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

For those of you somehow still unfamiliar with the president’s unique elocution, perhaps this post will assist in bringing you up to snuff. Fair warning dear readers, this stuff is as disturbing as it is funny.

So grab yourself a fresh cup of coffee, and enjoy a few Bushisms. If you find them as funny as I do, you can read a whole bunch more at: http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushisms2000.htm

With that having been said…
Ladlies and Gentlemums,
Let’s Rumble!

"America better beware of a candidate who is willing to stretch reality in order to win points." —George W. Bush, aboard his campaign plane, Sept. 18, 2000

"We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers." —George W. Bush, Houston, Texas, Sept. 6, 2000

"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read — I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do." —George W. Bush on abortion, MSNBC's "Hardball," May 31, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?" —George W. Bush, Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2000

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." —Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

"If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything! If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything!" —George W. Bush, Bellevue Community College, Nov. 2, 2000

"I'm not really the type to wander off and sit down and go through deep wrestling with my soul." —George W. Bush, as quoted in Vanity Fair, October 2000

"Never again in the halls of Washington, D.C., do I want to have to make explanations that I can't explain." —George W. Bush, Portland, Oregon, Oct. 31, 2000

"They said, 'You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people.' And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work." —George W. Bush, Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000

Now then, wasn’t that fun?
It’s just such a tragic shame it’s true.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

Richard Cheney Takes the Bull by the Horns

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

Meet Richard Cheney.
When it comes to dishonesty, Mr. Cheney wrote the book.

All truth be told, it’s more of an instructional manual really, aptly titled ‘The Art of Untruth, a Practitioners Guide to Deception’. The book contains a plethora of technique and advice, all gleaned from Mr. Cheney’s illustrious experience as the world’s pre-imminent teller of lies.

Chapter headings include ’When Honesty is Not the Best Policy’ ’Fear Mongering for Fast Results’, ‘Inaccuracies and Misdirection’, ‘Lies for Fun and Profit’ and includes a finely researched collection of some of Mr. Cheney’s more sensational quotes. Here’s just a sample of what goes on in the mind of this disingenuous buffoon, a man some refer to as the most powerful war profiteer in modern history.


"In Iraq, a ruthless dictator cultivated weapons of mass destruction and the means to deliver them. He gave support to terrorists, and had an established relationship with al Qaeda" - Nov. 7, 2003

"We know he's been absolutely devoted to trying to acquire nuclear weapons, and we believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons." - March 16, 2003

"My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." - March 16, 2003

“The plan was criticized by some retired military officers embedded in TV studios. But with every advance by our coalition forces, the wisdom of that plan becomes more apparent.”

"I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency." - on the Iraq insurgency, June 20, 2005

“The Iraqi forces are conducting the Mother of all Retreats“.

"Go f*ck yourself." - to Sen. Patrick Leahy, during an angry exchange on the Senate floor about war profiteering by Halliburton, June 25, 2004

“I’m the Vice President, and they’re not” - January 2007


There are many more disturbing quotes attributed to our heartless vice president. After all, Dick Cheney has been telling whoppers since long before I was born. Mr. Cheney doesn’t just bend the truth, he revels in his lies. He has in fact, elevated his dishonesty into an art form…The art of untruth.

Now before you go order a copy of the book from Amazon, I should probably come clean, something Mr. Cheney has never done. You see, other than the quotes I made the whole thing up. There is no book. It was all one big lie.

Mr. Cheney would be proud of me.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

Secret Torture Memo Bloodies Bush Administration

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

Have you ever considered the source of the phrase ‘caught red handed’?

It’s no cryptic secret, of course. It means precisely what is implied…to be caught with blood on ones hands… caught in the act, so to speak.

That having been said, it is rather obvious the Bush administration has been caught red handed. Unfortunately, it doesn’t involve a cookie jar… it involves the degradation of humane principles upon which this once great nation of ours was founded. Contrary to law, and anything Dana Perino might have said otherwise, the Bush administration has gone to unimaginable lengths to circumvent laws prohibiting torture.

We have learned that in 2005, under the leadership of former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, the US Justice Department secretly authorized the “use of painful physical and psychological tactics against terror suspects, including simulated drownings and freezing temperatures“, according to Thursdays New York Times.

The Bush administration has adamantly denied allegations of torture in the past, but then, Bush and company are experienced liars. What’s a little nose-bleed among these bloody bastards? What’s that you say? They are all innocent human beings until proved otherwise in a court of law? You don’t say?

Well, Bush certainly doesn’t. He has repeatedly demonstrated a disregard for the sanctity of human life. George often speaks of his closeness to God, but he has never gone to any real lengths to describe to us precisely who that God might be? A Christian God that authorizes torture? Clean up… isle nine!

I could go on and on, but I’m afraid that would be torture in and of itself. Who wants to be reminded of all the dirty little secrets that keep popping up in this administration? Don’t worry though, it will all be over soon enough. Just lie back, close your eyes, and endure each and every unspeakable act committed upon you in the name of justice. After all… isn’t that what America is all about?

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

Inside the 9/11 Report

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo

I've been reading through the 9/11 Commission Report, and it really doesn't do much to address some of the hard questions. It seems almost unconscionable to suggest the Bush administration could have been complicit in the events of 9/11, and yet, a great many Americans believe it to be true. Then again, one need not be a physicist to realize the official version of the story simply doesn't stack up.

Much like a house of cards, both towers tumbled to the ground in a matter of minutes, defying the laws of physics. The impact of the aircraft, and the subsequent explosion of jet fuel has been blamed for compromising the integrity of the structures, but leaves us with more question than answers. If indeed, the towers fell due to structural failure, why then would building seven also fail, as it was not struck by aircraft, nor was it built in the same manner as the towers. How does a building three blocks long collapse from a localized debris fire? Obviously, it doesn't.

Perhaps you are not familiar with the World Trade Center complex prior to 9/11. As such, it would be easy to overlook the obvious contradictions concerning the event. Throughout history, no other buildings have failed in a similar manner, and yet, we are expected to believe that this fluke of physics occurred not once, but three times, in a single location.

Could the Bush administration have somehow been involved in orchestrating these events? Frankly, the jury is out. We know for a fact, however, that the administration of Dwight Eisenhower drew up plans for similar attacks on US soil to bolster support for invasions of the USSR and Cuba. The covert operation, known as Operation Northwoods' was wholly rejected by subsequent administrations, but a precedent had been set. The US government had proven beyond doubt, a capability to kill innocent Americans.



Could 9/11 be another Operation Northwoods'? Unfortunately, it appears entirely possible. Just as the North tower was beginning to list to one side, a series of explosions occurred at street level, causing the building to buckle from beneath, bringing it straight down. These explosions could not have been the result of exploding fuel, as heat rises. Furthermore, we watched in terror as the jet fuel erupted into flames. What then, could have caused the explosions at street level?

We may never know the truth about 9/11, but we certainly know the official explanation is flawed and unacceptable. Could George W. Bush and his administration have knowingly murdered thousands of Americans? One can only wonder.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

blogment - National Newswire - The Infinite Echo